content below posted 18:00SAT28JUL01 cst

These Guys are Good!

Football is just around the corner but there is an idle week before the preseason starts and we thought we would have some fun at the expense of the scamdicappers. You know the type. They are in the bars and on TV and all over the net and in the discussion groups. The one thing they have in common is that they are all doing better at predicting the games than we are. We wanted to take a quick look at some of the methods they use achieve such great "success" year in and year out.

The first type is the After the Fact guy. He always wins! You'll meet him in person at the bar and on the net in the groups. He never, ever posts his predictions. He just comes around after the game and proclaims that he nailed it. If you are in the club and mention to him that you blew the Cards game, he will insist that he had a ton on the other team. There are players out there who are being honest when they talk about hitting a particular game, but they will also talk about the ones they lost as well. Its the "always wins"' part that exposes After the Fact guy.

Another one is Straight Up man. He hits seventy percent winners. What he is saying is true, its just that he forgot to mention that his plays do not include the point spread. Anyone can hit seventy percent straight up just by taking favorites.

Then there are the Money Moguls. You see them on the boards and on some of those websites where they sell the picks. They are only going to play 10 G's on the Bengal game because they are not sure who the starting QB is today. These guys have already won enough money gambling to buy three houses with ocean views. Yeah, right. If you get one more house you can trade them all in for a hotel on Park Place. Legitimate gamblers rarely talk about how much money they win.

Closely related to the money moguls are the Inverted Pyramid schemers. They will lose a few three unit plays then they will make a ten unit play. If it loses they will make a thirty unit play. On an extended losing streak the units wagered on a single game can jump to a thousand or more, but they will hit eventually and pocket a tidy profit as well! Of course, this is a lot safer if you are betting units, you will never see these guys trying it with real money.

The best we have seen is Multi-man. He's all over the boards but you have to be on your toes to find him. Multi-man registers with a discussion group under several different screen names. He will pick four games in week one, with each of his aliases taking a different combination of winners. If Alf, Carl, Denny and George lose in week one they will disappear from the group. Meanwhile Ben, Earl, Fred and Harv will boast about how they went 4-0 or 3-1, then they will take different combinations of the same three games. By the fifth or sixth week only Earl will be left, but he will have an eighty percent hit ratio in the early part of the season. Multi-man is good. Often Alf will come back to the board to praise Earl and to claim he started winning again when he decided to go with Earl's picks, a la After the Fact guy. You have to admire Multi-man because it takes a special talent to manage all those personalities without hearing voices.

There are several other types out there: Different Point Spread guy, After Kickoff man, "Sorry about the typo in my win-loss ratio, glad you caught that for me" dude. They can be a nuisance but we like to consider them to be a source of amusement. If you come across one of these players please be gentle. After all, if they have to go to such extremes to convince us that they are winning, they must be having a really tough season.